I really appreciate people that notice my musicianship and compliment me. I’m full of gratitude when someone takes the time to say something nice to me about my music – it honestly means the world to me.
If I’m going to be completely honest though, there’s one thing that I hear often that just rubs me the wrong way.
It’s when people tell me that I’m talented.
Huh?
What’s wrong with being called talented? Most people think of being called talented as a compliment. Right?
Well, yes. I think that most people use that phrase as a compliment and it comes out of their mouths with the best of intentions. It’s a loaded statement though, and it’s time that we thought about it a bit deeper. Let’s start by taking a look at what talent really means.
The Oxford Dictionary defines talent as a “natural aptitude or skill.”
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines talent as “a special often athletic, creative, or artistic aptitude” or “the natural endowments of a person”
The Cambridge Dictionary defines talents as “a natural ability to be good at something, especially without being taught”.
Talent is a myth with dangerous implications that implies you were born with the ability to make music – your artistry was simply handed to you and you took it out into the world.
That’s a nice thought, but I’m here to tell you – that’s not how music works.
We all put a lot of work into developing our craft. We do a lot of soul searching to develop an artistic voice. We learn from other human beings, both mentors and peers that help us move to the next phrase. Once we reach a level of competency, we’re always returning to the drawing board, learning something new, and repeating the process.
Becoming a fully formed musician – and then maintaining an artistic lifestyle – is a whole lot of work. Musicians are not born with the ability to play music; if any human being is going to reach any level of competency at music, they need to put in the work.
Let’s be real though – some people do have a head start and progress much more quickly in music.
Exposure to music at a young age makes a big difference – hearing a lot of music through your life or being around live musical performance can give someone a head start. Having private lessons and opportunities to perform during your youth can push you into a higher level of musicianship much more quickly. An influential musical mentor can make a huge difference – when a parent or other elder guides a young person, they can find their way much more quickly.
These are all advantages that can help a person move forward in their musical development (or career) much more quickly. But that advantage is not enough to sustain a musical lifestyle – they still have to put in a whole lot of work.
When someone tells us we are talented, they are basically saying, “You were given the fully formed ability to make music.” Without saying it, they’re also implying, “You’re so lucky that you didn’t have to work at becoming a musician. You can just do it.”
This completely disregards all the work that we have put into our art for so many years. In those three simple words – “you’re so talented” – those people have told you that your work doesn’t matter.
It usually gets worse, because the “compliment” of being talented is usually followed by some sort of self-degradation where the person says something like, “I’m so bad at music, I could never do that. But you’re so talented.” Well, the reality is that if that person put in a whole lot of work, they could play music too.
I don’t want to be recognized for being talented. I want to be recognized for my hard work, my artistic decisions, and the skills that I’ve built.
I think it’s important that musicians don’t buy into the idea of talent. We’ve got to put in the work and realize the value of that. We need to appreciate the fruits of our labors and feel good about our progress. But we need to remember that we worked for it. And we’re probably going to need to work even more.
WE need to remember that, but should we expect everyone else to respect that? I’m not sure.
When I get told that I’m talented, I understand that people are coming from a place of good intentions. I want to recognize their good will and show my gratitude. So what do I do? I say thank you. My internal dialogue goes into high gear, but I’ll take a compliment and connect with another human being. But I’m not talented.